The Everglades Poacher Who Pretended Read online

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Chapter One

  HOT

  Chapter Two

  RANGER CHAVEZ

  Chapter Three

  SWALLOW YOUR GUM

  Chapter Four

  THIRD CANOER

  Chapter Five

  DEPUTY GUTMAN

  Chapter Six

  INVESTIGATIONS

  Chapter Seven

  TRACKS

  Chapter Eight

  ROW, ROW, ROW!

  Chapter Nine

  THIS WAY

  Chapter Ten

  NO MORE QUESTIONS

  Literary News

  Arts & Entertainment

  A Detective’s Dictionary

  Gum’s Paper

  Further Investigations

  In Your Own Detective’s Notebook . . .

  Copyright

  Back Cover

  STUDENTS

  James Shoo

  A.K.A: Gum - Is this because he chews a lot of gum?

  D.O.B: November 19th

  POSITION: 6th Grade

  INTERESTS:

  Gum-chewing, field trips, and showing everyone what a crook Anton Gutman is.

  KNOWN ASSOCIATES:

  Archer, Samantha; Duran, Catalina; and Garrison, Edward.

  NOTES:

  Mr. Spade has made an effort to stop James from chewing gum in class. We fear he cannot be stopped.

  CHAPTER ONE

  HOT

  “Wow,” Samantha said as we stepped off the bus. She put down her luggage on the pavement. Then she took off her silly old hat and fanned her face with it. “Too hot.”

  I followed her off, with Edward — that’s Egg to you — and Catalina, or Cat, behind me. All of us had our luggage.

  Sam was right. It was way too hot: muggy, sticky, humid, and hot, hot, hot.

  “Stop!” I said.

  Egg bumped into me on the bus steps, and Cat bumped into him.

  “What are you doing, Gum?” Egg asked. He gave me a shove, but I didn’t budge. I’m a lot bigger than Egg.

  “I’m staying on the bus,” I said, turning around. “It has air-conditioning.” It was a great bus, too. This wasn’t your typical school bus, or even a relatively fancy city bus. This was a top-of-the-line charter bus, with cushy seats, TV screens for every seat, and a big clean bathroom at the back.

  I could have lived on that bus, as long it was parked near a diner.

  Egg and Cat rolled their eyes, but that didn’t stop me. Unfortunately, Mr. Spade, our sixth-grade teacher, was right behind them. He stopped me.

  “Sorry, James,” he said. “The bus will be going back to the depot now. It will be back to pick us up at five o’clock.”

  I let my shoulders sag. “Can’t I go back to the depot too?” I said.

  “Um, no,” Mr. Spade said.

  I looked past Mr. Spade at the bus driver, Gary. “I can hang out with Gary!” I said. My eyes got wide. “I bet he knows all the cool places to hang out in Homestead!” That was the nearest big town, east of Everglades National Park.

  Gary laughed, but he shook his head. “Sorry, kid,” he said. “I have a lot more jobs to do between now and five o’clock. There’s a group of seniors to pick up and drop at the race track. Then there’s the nuns playing bingo today. . . .”

  He probably would have gone on, but Mr. Spade cut him off. “That’s enough, James,” he said. “Now turn around and disembark.”

  I cocked my head to one side. “Huh?” I said.

  “That means get off the bus,” Egg said.

  “Darn,” I said, but I turned around and climbed off.

  Sam was still standing there, fanning herself with her hat. Once Egg and Cat were standing with us, Sam said, “Here we go again. Another field trip.”

  We all nodded, and Sam went on. “It’s really too hot,” she said. “I wish we could have come in the winter. Then it would be nice to be hot.”

  We watched the bus door close and the bus drive off.

  “Well,” I said, “hopefully this time we can just enjoy the field trip. I can’t think clearly in this heat. A mystery is the last thing I need.”

  My friends agreed. Together, we followed Mr. Spade as he gathered together the rest of the sixth-grade class.

  “What about our bags?” Egg asked. He thumbed over his shoulder at all the suitcases and duffels in the parking lot.

  “Your bags?” Mr. Spade said. “Wait a second. Why did everyone unload their bags?”

  “Gary told us to,” I said. “I guess he needs the space for the rest of his driving jobs today.”

  Mr. Spade put his hands on his hips. He opened his mouth to talk. But just as he did, the sky seemed to crack open. There was a loud bang, and then another.

  Mr. Spade threw his arms up and shouted, “Gunshots!”

  CHAPTER TWO

  RANGER CHAVEZ

  Everyone dove onto the ground, which was very unpleasant, because the ground was very wet.

  Well, not everyone dove onto the ground. When the shots stopped, I lifted my head and looked around. The park ranger was still standing, looking down at the sixth-grade class from Franklin Middle School, and our teacher.

  “They must raise ‘em pretty skittish back home, huh?” the ranger said. She was a young woman in green pants, a tan shirt, and one of those goofy ranger hats. She also had on sunglasses and a very grumpy expression.

  Mr. Spade looked up at her. Then he got to his feet and brushed off the front of his shirt and tie. “Um, yes,” he said. “Are there frequently gunshots in the park?”

  The ranger used her index finger to push her hat back a little. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Sam immediately copied the move. I guess looking cool in a hat takes some practice.

  “More than I’d like,” the ranger said. “Every time I hear a gun go off, it means some poor croc or turtle is about to turn into a pair of a shoes and an expensive steak.”

  Uh-oh, I thought. Cat was standing right next to me.

  “What?!” Cat shrieked. Her voice trembled. “Turtle steak?”

  “That’s right,” the ranger said. “There’s a market for it, but the turtles in this park are an endangered species, so it’s a crime.”

  Cat crossed her arms and clenched her mouth up so tight that her lips turned white. Egg patted her back.

  The ranger pulled off her sunglasses. It was a smooth and quick move. “I’m Ranger Chavez,” she said.

  She slowly turned her head as we all stood up, and I swear she made eye contact with each and every sixth grader. I heard a few people gulp with fear. She was pretty scary, all right.

  “Y’all can call me Ranger Chavez,” she said. She gave us another sweep with her death glare.

  “Well, thank you, Ranger Chavez,” Mr. Spade said. “What should we do with our bags?”

  Ranger Chavez snapped her fingers. Two younger park employees ran over to the bags and stood there. “They will guard the bags,” the ranger said.

  “She’s tough,” Sam whispered. “I like her.” Cat nodded, dumbstruck.

  “Now,” Ranger Chavez went on, “here are some park rules.” She started to walk off and was nearly twenty yards away before we realized we were supposed to follow her. Even Mr. Spade ran to catch up.

  “No alcohol,” Ranger Chavez said. I don’t think she noticed the thirty sixth-graders running to catch up — or the forty-year-old man out of breath right behind her.

  She kept rattling off the rules: no glass bottles, no guns, no motorized vehicles — including boats.

  “You’re going to look for the big, noisy, manatee-killing airboats,” she snapped. “Everyone does. They’re not here. They’re illegal. So do
n’t ask.”

  She went on like that for the whole walk down a sandy trail toward the river of grass — that’s what some people call the Everglades. Mr. Spade taught us that on the bus.

  The point is, Ranger Chavez had a long list of rules.

  She finally stopped walking, right at the edge of the water, where a bunch of canoes were parked. Then she turned around and pulled off her sunglasses again.

  I popped a bubble. She practically snapped her neck to glare at me.

  Squinting, she held my eyes. I gulped in fear again. Then she said, “No gum chewing.” Then she snarled. I swear.

  CHAPTER THREE

  SWALLOW YOUR GUM

  “Swallow your gum,” Egg whispered, quietly but urgently. “Swallow it before she reaches into your mouth and tears it out. She’ll probably take your tongue and half your teeth with it!”

  “I’m trying!” I said. It’s hard to swallow three pieces of gum all at once, especially when your mouth is dry with terror. I had to bite it into smaller pieces first, and then swallow them one after the other.

  Believe me, it was hard to concentrate with the Warrior of the Everglades, also known as Ranger Chavez, walking toward me. Her face was getting redder and redder.

  I worked the gum in my mouth, trying to swallow it bit by bit. I finally got the last lump down my throat when she was two steps away. By the time she reached me — and stood with her face only inches from mine — I could hardly breathe. Somehow I managed to smile.

  “Open,” she said, or grunted, “your mouth.”

  So I did, still smiling. “Ahh!” I said. “No cavities!”

  A few kids laughed, but Egg just covered his eyes and shook his head. He worries too much.

  The ranger stood up straight and stared me down. I kept smiling. Before long, my face hurt, and I wanted some more gum.

  “This time,” the ranger said quietly, so only I could hear her, “you’re lucky. If I see your jaw working again and there’s no words coming out of your mouth . . .”

  She pulled her first finger across her throat. “Got it?” she said.

  I stopped smiling and nodded vigorously. “I got it,” I said.

  She leaned closer to me. “Got it, what?” she said.

  “Got it, Ranger Chavez! Sir! Ma’am! Ranger!” I said.

  I was glad it was so hot, because I would have been sweating under her stare even in the arctic.

  “Good,” she said. Then she went back to the head of the group.

  “I don’t think she likes me,” I whispered to Egg. He just nodded.

  “Okay, everyone!” Ranger Chavez shouted. “Grab a life jacket and pile on. We’re going canoeing.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  THIRD CANOER

  In all, there were probably ten canoes: enough for three students and one grown-up in each.

  Of course, that meant my friends and I had to split up, at least a little. To make sure none of us were on our own, we split up in pairs.

  I went with Egg in one canoe, and Cat and Sam got into another one. That meant we’d each get assigned one more kid, and a grown-up chaperone.

  I sat in the middle of our canoe, and Egg sat in the front. We each put on a bright-orange life vest.

  I watched Sam and Cat climb aboard their canoe. They ended up with Henry Halper. He’s a nice guy. And their grown-up was Henry’s mom, the parent chaperone for the trip. So that wasn’t too bad.

  They were lucky.

  Ranger Chavez climbed aboard our canoe. She sat in the back, and she put something on the floor of the canoe in front of her. It was covered with a heavy cloth, so I couldn’t see what it was.

  “I’ll be watching you, gum chewer!” she called out.

  I quickly faced forward.

  And then it got worse.

  When the canoe shook a moment later, I turned to see who was coming aboard.

  Our third kid got on and pulled on his life vest. Then he turned to Ranger Chavez and said, in a sweet and sickening voice, “You’re sure good at your job, Ranger Chavez. Gum here is the biggest troublemaker in our class.” He was lying, obviously.

  “Is that so?” Ranger Chavez asked, staring at me.

  The boy nodded. “Yup,” he said. “That’s why Mr. Spade put me in this boat. He knew I’d keep an eye on him.”

  “In that case, I officially name you a temporary deputy ranger for this canoe trip,” Ranger Chavez said. “What’s your name?”

  “Gutman,” the boy said. He looked at me and smirked, so the ranger couldn’t see him.

  “Deputy Anton Gutman.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  DEPUTY GUTMAN

  Anton Gutman is the sworn enemy of me and my friends, but especially me. I’ll be the first to admit that whenever a crime is committed on a field trip, I point to Anton as my prime suspect.

  Usually it’s not him. But can you blame me? He’s always starting trouble. He’s always telling lies. He’s always calling me and my friends names.

  So there we were, starting a canoe trip through the Everglades that would probably last hours, and Anton was in our boat.

  Worse, he was the official sidekick to the meanest, nastiest park ranger in the whole national park system.

  “Pick up the pace up there!” Ranger Chavez shouted.

  I guess my mind had been wandering. The other canoes had gotten pretty far ahead in the man-made canoeing lane through the grassy river. I turned around to say I was sorry, and I realized she and Anton weren’t even paddling! Egg and I were doing all the work.

  “This is some field trip,” I grumbled to Egg. “We’re the labor, and she sits back there, lounging with her new best friend, Anton the Deputy.”

  Egg was having a hard time too. Since he was so busy paddling, he couldn’t take any photos.

  Egg loves taking pictures. It’s all he thinks about on field trips. And this was definitely a place where he’d want to take photos. There was super tall grass and funny-looking groves of trees growing right in the middle of the water! I also spotted some birds.

  From pictures we’d seen in science class, I recognized a heron, an egret, and an osprey. I’m pretty sure I even saw a crocodile.

  “It was probably an alligator,” Anton said, after I shouted about the crocodile.

  Ranger Chavez clucked her tongue. “Deputy Gutman is right,” she said. “Alligators are far more common. Now pick up the pace.”

  Egg glanced at me over his shoulder from the front of the canoe. He was sweating a lot, and I was too.

  From the look on his face, I could tell that he was also starting to think the worst of Ranger Chavez.

  The ranger put a small bullhorn to her lips. “Attention, all canoes!” she shouted. I yelped. Right there in the canoe with her, it was deafening.

  “Stop and head to the left-hand shore,” the ranger bellowed through her megaphone.

  Mr. Spade yelled back, “Okay!”

  Ranger Chavez cleared her throat, with the megaphone still raised up to her lips. The sound rang out loudly across the river of grass.

  “I mean,” Mr. Spade shouted, “okay, Ranger Chavez!”

  The ranger put down the megaphone.

  “Okay, deputy,” she said. “Help these two troublemakers steer the canoe to the left shore.”

  “When did I become a troublemaker too?” Egg whispered over his shoulder.

  I shrugged. Then I struggled with my paddle to move us toward the shore.

  “You heard Ranger Chavez,” Anton said through a sneer. “Let’s move it!”

  I was glad she hadn’t given him a whip. He probably would have used it, and Ranger Chavez probably would have cheered.

  Before we reached the shore, Ranger Chavez stepped out of the canoe. I guess it was pretty shallow there. Plus she was wearing these big boots that went to her thighs. I noticed she left the covered bundle in the canoe, though.

  She walked over to where the canoes had all stopped. Everyone was pulling their boats halfway onto a small island covered with pl
ants and tall trees.

  “This is a hammock,” Ranger Chavez said as she reached the shore. She pulled off her sunglasses and spotted me. I was standing with Egg, and we’d found Sam and Cat pretty quick, too.

  “And I don’t mean a rope bed for lazy gum-chewers,” the ranger said. Then she put her sunglasses back on. “Hammocks are the only dry land in the park,” she went on, “besides the parking lot. Here you’ll find several types of hardwood trees, and most of the animals that can’t stay in water all day.”

  “What are some examples?” Mr. Spade asked. “Um, Ranger Chavez.”

  The ranger said, “There are deer, rabbits, frogs, snakes . . . they’re all pretty elusive. I’m hoping we’ll spot one of the most elusive — and rare — creatures in the park: the Florida panther.”

  At the very word “panther,” the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. A chill ran up and down my spine and then up again. I shivered.

  “You okay, Gum?” Sam asked. She snickered.

  “Laugh if you want,” I said. “But I don’t plan on being eaten by a giant cat on this field trip.”

  “They won’t eat anyone, Gum,” Cat said. She put a hand on my shoulder. “Trust me, they’re more afraid of you than you are of them.”

  “I think that’s bears,” Egg said.

  I shook my head. “Couldn’t be bears,” I said. “Nothing could be more scared of anything than I am of bears.”

  “Good point,” Egg said.

  “Excuse me, Ranger Chavez?” I said politely. I raised my hand and everything.

  “Yes?” she said through clenched teeth.

  “Um, what should we do if we come across a panther?” I asked. “I mean, by accident, of course.”

  “It’ll hear you coming,” she said. “Look at it this way. If you manage to surprise a panther, I’d go play the lottery if I were you. You look like you’d have a hard time sneaking up on a log.”

  Anton thought that was hilarious. He nearly fell over laughing.

  “But,” Ranger Chavez said, “I intend to find a panther today, with you kids. It will be the thrill of your life.”